


Rest Easy

by Nooty



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Post-Episode: s03e12 Helpless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24029035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nooty/pseuds/Nooty
Summary: The Cruciamentum may be over, but the dust hasn't settled...
Relationships: Rupert Giles & Buffy Summers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Rest Easy

**Author's Note:**

> The fallout from Series 3 Episode 12 ‘Helpless’ is not really dealt with and in the next episode ‘The Zeppo’ everything seems to be business as usual with no lasting consequences but for a quick little comment on the matter. I wanted to look at how everyone could've reacted to it because what Giles did was horrible (but I still love him) and I’m not okay with everyone just going ‘lalala I don’t care’ and moving on as if nothing happened without it ever being discussed. 
> 
> Takes place between 'Helpless' and 'The Zeppo'
> 
> All mistakes are my own incompetence. 
> 
> Originally written December 2015

Hurt. That’s all that she can feel.

What hurts the most? Well the jury’s out on that. The whole horror of the past few days is finally sinking in. As if a rendezvous with her own stake weren’t traumatic enough she was hunted down like a helpless little bunny by a psychotic vampire, not that most vampires are sane members of society but this guy, major league nut job. The crappiest part is that it’s not even the worst thing she has ever faced. She could easily have dusted that guy on a normal day. But it wasn’t a normal day. It was her birthday, her eighteenth, once-in-a-lifetime-coming-of-age kinda birthday. She was supposed to be out at the Bronze with Willow, Xand and the gang. Instead she’s, alone and hurting. Her birthdays the past couple years have sucked beyond measure, last year especially plagues her nightmares. She should’ve known really that it’s impossible for her to have a normal, quiet birthday because it’s not like she’s that kind of girl. Maybe it’s a nightmare. Maybe she’ll wake up and it’ll all have been a hideous nightmare and she’s eating pizza with the gang and watching some crappy movie that Xander will have chosen. Maybe if she closes her eyes... 

A stinging sensation on her forehead snaps her eyes back open and her attention back in the room. She is in fact in the library and she does still hurt. It’s silent, except for her sniffles and she keeps her eyes on the floor. It’s not a particularly nice floor, it’s probably seen as many horrors as she has. It’d look better if it were carpeted, not that trashy carpet in the upper section of the library, that looks gross but at least the patterns would be more interesting to look at. She’s not ready to think about anything else yet. The stinging feeling is back, and Buffy let’s out a small hiss of discomfort as she flinches away from it. 

“I’m sorry,” someone whispers. Did she hear that? Isn’t she alone here? She brings her eyes up just enough to see Giles kneeling before her, his arm stretched out cleaning the blood off her face. It doesn’t even look like he’s opened his mouth recently, but he must’ve, he’s the only one here with her. Right? She wishes he’d stop; wishes he’d leave her alone to deal with this herself, but she is so tired. She can’t even bring herself to lift her arm up and take the washcloth from his hand. 

There’s something soothing about his touch, it makes her feel safe which upon reflection makes her feel sick. He did this to her. He’s the reason why she’s hurt, why her mother is hurt. Yet she still feels soothed by his touch. Giles isn’t really the type of guy to be physically affectionate. He tries to be when necessary, the odd pat on the shoulder here or slightly awkward hug there but for the most part he’s not. ‘Maybe it’s a British thing’ she muses. Not that she’s a particularly clingy person herself but he just seems so shut off in that department. Yet in moments like this when he’s patching her up, he’s always so tender. 

In their line of work there is a fair amount of patching each other up. Pretty early on after the establishment of the Scoobies, Giles had insisted that they all learn basic first aid and that he was flabbergasted that the American schooling system hadn’t already incorporated it into the mandatory curriculum, much to Xander’s amusement. He’d laughed and made some stupid joke about English people that she can’t remember but she does recall it getting a rather pointed glare from the librarian. Xander then accused Giles being over dramatic, which he is about some things, yet was the first one to need bandaging up after he got jumped while patrolling with Buffy. Giles always knew how to treat any injury they got, and the list was way too long at this point. He was always prepared with his extensive, fully stocked first aid kit. Part of Watcher training she supposed. It’s not like the Slayer was facing puppies every night. At the time he’d explained that it was mandatory for Watchers to have the same capabilities of Emergency Responders because of such instances but she never thought to ask about it in greater detail. Over the past couple of years, he’d astounded them with his skills and certainly kept hospital bills to a minimum for their parents. He took care of them, even though he’d be all grumpy about it sometimes and roll his eyes or sigh about their recklessness he always made them feel safe and cared for. 

Guess he didn’t actually feel that way.

Buffy is jerked back to the real world by Giles’ knees cracking as he gets up off the floor to remove the first aid kit and water from the table and return it to its usual spot in his office. Buffy ignores his shuffling around and reaches a hand to her forehead, hissing again as her fingers brush against the wound. Well, Dr Giles has re-emerged and done his job properly, or maybe the cut on her head was worse than she thought. 

“Buffy...” he whispers softly not trusting his own voice. He reaches out to her tentatively with a slightly shaky hand and tries to ignore the look on her face. “I need to get you home. Will you allow me to drive you?” 

She wishes nothing more than to be left alone but she knows she can barely walk right now, let alone fight off something nasty should she have to. The slightest nod of her head so as not to feel dizzy is the only confirmation she gives him, and she pushes herself up onto wobbly legs. She daren’t look at him, it’ll make her cry again thinking that the person she trusted most could betray her like that.

The car journey back home is mercifully silent. Buffy stares enthralled by Giles’ hand on the gearstick, slotting it into position methodically but still trembling. She always wondered why he drove a manual; it seems so much more effort. She’d always meant to ask him but never got around to it. Now she’s actually watching him fascinated with the differences. Ah, you push the clutch and take your foot off the accelerator when changing gear, god that’s too confusing, she thinks. If she were at the wheel they wouldn’t get further than three feet if she had to do all that at once. It’s a surprisingly complicated process, now that sums him up doesn’t it, but she has absolutely no doubt that she’s safe with him. No, she can’t think about him, it makes the hurt worse. As the car pulls up into the driveway behind the Jeep and he cuts the engine, Giles lets out a small sigh. She knows he wants to help; feels he needs to but right now she wants him to get as far away from her as possible. But then she thinks of her mum in the house waiting for her. She’ll undoubtedly want to talk to him so unfortunately, his presence is required just a bit longer.

Giles turns to look at Buffy, an almost pleading look in his eye as if reading her mind. He doesn’t want to go in there and face Joyce. She doesn’t know everything that happened, but he knows she’ll ask, and he can’t bring himself to lie to her. He’s had enough of lying. Buffy meets his gaze with a brief scowl, and he knows he’s to follow. As much as he doesn’t want to deal with this right now he also doesn’t want Buffy to have to either and he would do anything to ease her suffering or preferably prevent it. ‘Get a grip Rupert’ he mentally chides himself before following Buffy into the house.  
He chooses to look at his shoes instead of Joyce hugging Buffy. The girl holds her mother tightly for a few moments before stepping back and heading up the stairs. 

“What happened sweetheart?” Joyce asks her daughter. Buffy pauses but doesn’t turn around. 

“Ask that,” she snaps. 

“What? Honey, you’re not making sense,” Joyce tries looking at Giles for help but finding none. A door slams from upstairs and Joyce quickly follows her daughter. “Rupert, please wait here, I’ll be back in a second.” She says to Giles who wants the world to swallow him whole right now. 

“Buffy?” Joyce asks tentatively entering her daughter’s room. Her heart breaks when she sees her little girl sat on the bed clutching onto Mr Gordo crying. “What’s wrong?” 

“I can’t...” the teenager sobs. Wasting no time, Joyce pulls her daughter into a tight hug and soothes her. 

“Oh baby.” Joyce continues to hold Buffy until she’s fallen asleep before gently tucking her into bed. Her poor child should never be so upset or hurt. Slowly extracting herself from the room she closes the door and heads back downstairs startling herself when she sees Giles. With all the emotions running through her, she’d forgotten that he was still there despite the fact she internally wishes he were anywhere else, and it looks like he wishes he weren’t there either. She stops in front of him and looks at him, something serious has happened from the look on his face. 

“Rupert, you’re hurt.” Giles looks up at Joyce, choosing to look at a point just behind her instead of meeting her eyes. It takes his brain a second to catch up. 

“I-I’m quite alright,” he mumbles offering a small smile that fails to be reassuring. Alarm bells go off in Joyce’s head, something is going on and he knows what it is. That’s unacceptable, she needs to know because that’s part of the deal they have. Whenever something big happens, she gets to be clued in. She regards the man in front of her again, maybe he’s not physically hurt but he’s defiantly in some form of pain. 

“Why don’t you sit down Rupert, you don’t look so good,” she offers heading into the living room. He sits on the sofa next to her and stares at the rug. What she said is accurate, he doesn’t look fine, he looks like he’s either going to bolt out of the door or pass out. “Can I get you anything?” 

“N-no thank you,” is the curt reply he gives. Right, this is getting her nowhere she thinks. Time to go into full protective parent mode. 

“Rupert, what the hell was all that tonight? I know you know so you’d better start explaining,” she orders. He takes a deep breath and tells her. He tells her about the Council and their test, tells her and about Kralik before finally telling her about the drug he used on Buffy. Once he’s finished he takes off his glasses and fiddles with them in his fingers waiting for Joyce to say something. That was not in any sense cathartic and it takes all his willpower not to break down into tears then and there, there’ll be time for that later. 

“You did this to her?” Joyce whispers to herself. Giles nods slowly. Joyce rises to her feet and heads to the kitchen needing to be anywhere but in that living room. Giles follows her. 

“You must understand that I never-“ his sentence is cut off by a sharp slap to the face. 

“You poisoned my baby girl!” She yells before slapping him again. He doesn’t react, what she said is true and he can’t undo it. 

“You have my word that in a day or so the effects will wear off and Buffy will be completely fine,” he says earning a laugh from a nearly hysterical Joyce. He cringes at his own words; they’d escaped his lips before his brain had had a chance to stop them. What a stupid thing to say.

“Why should I believe that? Why should I believe anything you say after what you did?” Giles can’t really argue with her logic, she is of course right. He straightens up in the doorway preparing for another smack. 

“I know that-“ she shoves him away. Honestly, he’d not expected this violent outburst from Joyce, he expected a slap, maybe a punch but not this. Not that she was harming him, though he has no doubt she could if she really wanted to, he backed off and allowed himself to be shoved towards the front door. 

“Get the hell out and don’t you even think about touching my daughter again!” She screeches while yanking open the door. She watches Giles scurry out of the building as fast as his legs will carry him and fling himself into his car before slamming the door shut. Taking a second, Joyce rests her head on the door and takes a steadying breath. That is not what she expected him to say. She expected there to have been a particularly evil vampire, not a betrayal. Given the choice, Joyce would’ve preferred it to be the vampire. 

*****

Over the next week, Buffy makes sure to avoid Giles at all costs. Her mum had insisted that she take the day after off to rest so that her Slayer healing mojo could kick in. True to his word, it was within the 48 hours that Giles had said it would be for her powers to come back and she was feeling fighting fit again. As far as explanations go, she’d painted Willow and Xander a picture of the events in question, but it was a blurry watercolour instead of a fully-fledged, ultra-realistic HD image. She told them she was poisoned but left out the part where it was Giles who drugged her. It’s not that she wouldn’t tell them eventually it’s more that she didn’t want to think about it because it was too raw. She’d more than hinted that it was his fault and in normal circumstances Willow would’ve used that massive brain of hers and gotten to the conclusion. Buffy figured Oz probably had worked it out but obviously with his preference of non-verbal communication she wasn’t certain. Willow was always too distracted with other, less important points in the story. 

“I still can’t get believe Giles got fired,” Willow starts for the billionth time as she opens her locker. “He actually got fired, it’ll be on his résumé forever. It’s a stain on his reputation, he’s been shunned by his own people.” 

“Will, quit with the over-dramatics,” Buffy sighs. She is so sick of it always coming back to this point. Sure, Willow has a bit of a crush on Giles and they’ve spent many a conversation discussing it but he’s the last person she wants to talk about right now. All the times she’d have to repress her ‘ew’ reflex when hearing her friend gushing over her watcher will haunt her as much as any demon she faces. 

“She obsessing over the whole ‘Giles-got-fired’ thing again?” Xander asks approaching the girls. At Buffy’s nod he rolls his eyes. “How many times we gotta go over this Willow? He’s not going anywhere, he’s still in the Library drinking tea and being all stuffy as usual.” 

“I’m sorry, it’s just a big deal. Buff, have you talked to him about what happens now with a new Watcher?” Willow asks as they trudge towards History class. 

“Will ease up, it’s old news. I’m sure when we check in at lunch Mr unemployed will have a shiny new apocalypse for us to get involved in and it’ll be business as usual,” Xander interrupts. While he loves being part of the Scooby gang, sometimes he wishes it could just be a quiet week with no impending doom. The tension between Slayer and Watcher has been palpable, even he noticed Buffy was doing the merry dance of avoidance manoeuvres when it came to Giles, but he couldn’t work out why. 

After a long and particularly boring class, the bell goes and the gang head over to the Library expecting a normal Scooby lunchtime whereby Giles complains at the a mess, but they all sit around engaging in pleasant conversation, maybe play a game or two. That’s usual non apocalypse protocol. As the three of them enter the library and take their usual spots around the table, Willow next to Oz and Xander on the stairs Buffy stays standing with her arms folded. 

“Hey G-Man where you at?” Xander asks realising they’ve not been subjected to a sarcastic comment about their noise yet. 

“Guess Giles found someone new to betray,” Buffy mutters to herself. Judging by Willows confused look, not quite quietly enough. 

“Buffy, what did Giles do?” Willow asks with her eyes wide and panicked. Before Buffy can answer the man in question appears in his office doorway, book in hand as per usual. 

“Ah, w-what are you all doing here?” He asks looking at the group with an eyebrow raised. He’d not seen any of them except Willow in the library for a few days now and was in deep research mode trying to be one step ahead of the latest big bad. Or more accurately trying desperately to find something to distract himself from the overwhelming guilt of the past week. He glances over at Buffy; all physical evidence of her birthday has gone thankfully but he knows better than to assume that she’s fine. “If you all wish to have lunch in here you know the rules. I’ll make myself scarce, there’s a few matters that I must take care of.” 

“Aren’t we having the usual debates like the one about which book in here smells the mustiest?” Xander asks looking disappointed that Giles won’t be spending time with them again. 

“Giles what did you do?” Willow whimpers looking to her mentor for answers. Buffy had said something about betrayal, she was sure of it. Giles shifts uncomfortably but instead looks at Buffy. He’d assumed that she’d told them what happened and that’s why they were all avoiding him but apparently he was mistaken. 

“Yeah, Giles what did you do?” Buffy asks glaring at him. She knows that she’s not helping but she is so sick of his kicked puppy expressions every time she sees him. 

“Okay I’m feelin’ like I missed out on something here,” Xander interrupts. “What’s goin’ on?” 

“You wanna tell them or should I?” Buffy asks glaring at her Watcher- no former Watcher. “He’s the one who poisoned me.” 

“What?” Buffy watches them all in her peripheral vision as she imagines throwing Giles through the bookcase to his right. How satisfying it would be to watch him bleed and hurt the way she had. Xander’s laughter snaps her out of it. 

“What are you nuts?” He laughs nervously. Buffy steps closer to the group sending a warning glare at Giles. If he moves a muscle to try and weasel himself out of this then there will be hell to pay, and he seems to get the memo. Giles clenches his jaw and squares his shoulders but daren’t look directly at them, instead focusing on the bookshelf and reading the titles. He catches Willow’s expression out of the corner of his eye. He’s sure she’s trying desperately not to cry and wishes he could comfort her, assure her that it’ll all be alright, but he can’t. He was in the wrong. He spots Oz’s arm around her shoulder as they wait for his explanation. 

“I’m the one who caused Buffy to lose her powers,” he states as confidently as his voice will allow. After a long pause, he continues. “It was a test given to the Slayer should she survive to her eighteenth birthday. I was to administer a drug that would render Buffy powerless and send her to go and slay a vampire.” He debated continuing but can’t bring himself to. That was not the most eloquent explanation he’s ever given but it got the job done, barely. 

“He hypnotised me then stuck a needle in me,” Buffy adds dissatisfied at his explanation. Minutes pass in silence but for the background noise of ordinary life of Sunnydale High from the corridor. The room feels so small and it takes all of Giles’ self-control to stay rooted to the spot and try to calm his racing heart before it beats out of his chest.

“You son of a bitch!” Xander yells leaping up and slamming his hands on the table in front of him. “She trusted you! She trusted you and you screwed her over!” Less than a second is all it takes for Xander to be right up in Giles’ face and Buffy wonders if there’s going to be violence. Unlikely was a word she no longer felt confident using. She always finds it quite funny to see Xander squaring up to Giles, whether that be in a battle of minds or when they train. Giles is a big guy, not that Xander isn’t unintimidating if he wants to be, but he’s broader and looms over him with the height advantage. It doesn’t help that Buffy knows Xander will never win in a fight with him, but he could land a few solid blows. 

“Xander!” Willow yells rushing over to separate them. Giles isn’t showing any resistance as Xander squares up to him. There’s no point. The boy could be on the floor in a matter of seconds, but it’d be pointless and more importantly he doesn’t want to hurt him. 

“You’re just gonna let him get away with it?” The boy snarls at Willow. 

“He’s not worth it,” she responds resting a hand on her friend’s shoulder urging him to step away. Giles feels like he’s been kicked in the gut. Jesus Christ that hurts. Willow, the same Willow who bakes him cookies, who helps him change his computer password when he can’t figure out how the sodding thing turns on, who always checks up on him and talks to him as if he were a person, not just an encyclopaedia with arms, Willow just said that. In a huff, Xander storms out of the library letting the door slam shut as he makes his exit. 

“How could you?” Willow sobs. Oz strokes her back soothingly and tries to mask his own disgust. Realising no good was going to come of staying here, he guides his girlfriend from the library and after Xander. 

“You did this to yourself,” Buffy spits. 

“Buffy,” Giles whimpers trying to keep himself together. 

“I hope it was worth it.” Without another word Buffy makes a swift exit. Once the door shuts Giles finally takes a breath. Then another, then another and so on until he’s practically hyperventilating. God he’s fucked it all up. It’s all his fault. They all rightfully hate him. He’s lost his Slayer, his career, his friends... there’s nothing. He’s nothing.

“Okay I need those Bosnia books now,” Cordelia announces as she struts into the library, heels clinking on the floor. She spots Giles stood by the book cage and stops in front of him. “Gee, what’s up with you today? Is it because you tried decaf and didn’t like the taste?” She shuts up and takes a proper look at the fashion victim in front of her. He’d look way less stuffy if he wore a normal, non-tweed suit for once and maybe then people would actually come and use the library instead of avoiding it. What is his deal? He looks absolutely petrified. “Is there a demon behind me?” She spins to check, of course there’s nothing there. “Giles? What’s wrong?” Nothing, no response. She gently rests her hand on his upper arm, and he seems to finally acknowledge her existence. Well it took him long enough! 

“C-Cordelia?” He stutters. “Sorry, um… what did you say?” 

“I asked what was going on here at Hellmouth central that’s got you all worked up.” 

“Nothing you need concern yourself with.” 

“Fine, I need Bosnia books.” And to have a word with Buffy and her morons about this because although she dislikes them with every fibre of her being, Cordelia likes Giles. He’s always kind to her and she likes his weird sense of humour. Total loser and sometimes boarder line creepy but he’s probably the coolest loser she’s ever met. Why does she care about losers anyway? 

*****

That evening Buffy prays for a good fight with something evil. Her conversation with Angel just before sunset had only made her more mad. Him and his stupid undead rationality. She’d paced around the mansion telling Angel all the horrible things she wanted to do to Giles and how she wanted him to hurt the way she was hurting and she didn’t even care if he got brutally murdered on his way home. While the vampire knew she didn’t mean it he flinched at her words on Giles’ behalf. Although amends have been made, Giles will never trust him again and Angel can’t look at him without feeling guilt beyond measure. When Angel had explained that she wouldn’t want her Watcher in such pain if she knew what it looked like, she’d laughed. ‘What’d you know about it’ she’d responded. Angel went quiet after that and eventually Buffy’s restlessness led to her choosing to patrol instead. Upon reflection, that was probably the dumbest thing she’s ever said to anybody in her life. She didn’t need to be reminded of Angelus’ presence last year, she’s still facing fallout from that. While Angel was angry at Giles, he knew what the Watcher’s Council were capable of and that yes, the wrong choice had been made but a choice was made and, knowing Giles, had not been done so lightly. Angel was only trying to play Devil’s Advocate and Buffy knew this, but he was her boyfriend, or whatever they were now, so surely he should side with her? Right? That’s basically his job description.

Her thoughts quickly went back to the library. She hadn’t expected Xander to lose his cool, but she was certainly not opposed to stopping it. Realistically, Xander couldn’t do anything and he wasn’t really the best example of how to process something like that in an effective way. That not to say rage was an ineffective way to deal, that’s what she was doing because it distracted from the pain that the betrayal had caused. Giles should feel the impact of his actions, she’d made her mind up about that. Maybe she should poison him, like he did to her. That’d teach him. She had seen his face when Willow delivered the emotional blow, he looked like he was going to cry on the spot. Part of her found it deeply satisfying to watch him trying to keep it together as they hurt him. There was another part of her that found herself repulsed at such thoughts. 

A rustling of leaves grabs her attention and her instincts take over; she roundhouse kicks the figure behind her straight in the torso as hard as Slayer strength permits without looking around. Hurdling the gravestone with a stake in hand she straddles the creature readying to kill. 

“Bloody hell!” It groans and Buffy stops her strike. There’s only one evil thing that would say that, well maybe two but she was sure that Spike was nowhere near Sunnydale. 

“Giles?” She asks jumping to her feet, stake still raised. 

“I deserved that,” Giles mutters clambering awkwardly to his feet. 

“What the hell are you doing, I could’ve killed you!” He steps back massaging his side tenderly with a pinched expression as he tries to get his breath back. 

“I needed to talk to you.” 

“I don’t wanna talk to you. I hate you!” She yells starting to storm off. Giles has to jog to catch up with her. “Stop following me!” 

“Buffy please,” he begs and thankfully she stops and turns to face him with her arms folded. Now that he’s got her attention his normally sharp mind freezes. What did he want to say again? It seemed like a good idea at the time to try and talk her round, he needed to apologise to her properly. He needed to assure her that he will never let anything like that happen to her so long as he is breathing, although at this precise moment that is easier said than done. “You have every right to hate me and I don’t expect your forgiveness.” 

“Blah, blah, blah I already know this,” Buffy taunts. 

“If there’s anything at all that I can do…” 

“The only thing you can do is stay the hell away from me Giles! You don’t get to logic this all better. You screwed up! You did this not me so now you’re the one that’s going to have to live with it!” Buffy knows she shouldn’t be yelling at him like this, yes he messed up big time but whenever she messes up he doesn’t yell at her. Come to think of it he’s never yelled at her. Not ever. Sure, he’s gotten frustrated and angry, but he’s never projected that onto her in such a way. He goes for disappointed instead which is worse. Yelling is more her style. How many times has she yelled at him? Too many. Buffy sighs, this can’t go on any longer. It doesn’t make her hurt or rage disappear, but she knows she’s being unreasonable. He’s come to her begging for forgiveness because he can’t bear to see her suffer. Even now, he’s thinking of her. 

“And I shall continue to do so for the rest of my life,” Giles agrees, eyes brimming with tears. “I know I have wronged you, betrayed your trust, our friendship and caused you so much pain… words cannot express how deeply I regret my actions. Nothing like this will ever happen again I swear and I’m aware you’re sick of me saying it but… I’m truly so very sorry.” 

That’s it, Buffy turns around to hide her face. There was no doubting the complete honesty of his words, the pain in his voice as it cracked with emotion. It’s too much and she can feel the anger seeping out of her body. There’s a faint shuffling behind her and she tries oh so hard to ignore the unmistakable sniffle of crying. Moments pass as it sinks in. Unable to stand it anymore, Buffy slowly edges away, needing to put a little distance between them not because she doesn’t want to hug him and tell him it’ll be okay but because right now, she can’t bring herself to. 

“I-I’ll um… get the hell away and stay there,” he sniffles and marvels at how pathetic he is. He’s a grown man for heavens sake, he shouldn’t be acting like a schoolboy getting scolded for not handing in his homework. As he turns to leave he spots a shadow creeping around the crypt fifteen feet to Buffy’s left. A vampire. He glances at the Slayer, not taking an eye of the creature, but she hasn’t noticed. Too worked up in pretending he’s dead, he expects. Wait a second, it’s in her blind spot. He trained Buffy; he knows her weaknesses as well as she does. That vampire will have the advantage on her, and he cannot allow that.

Without hesitating Giles charges towards the vampire. Startled by the sudden movement, Buffy whips around and wields her stake as she lunges towards the conflict. Just before she grabs the fiend, she watches Giles take a brutal punch sending him crashing gracelessly into a heap on the dewy grass. The red mist descends and Buffy pummels the vampire to a pulp for what feels like an eternity before finally staking it. That was therapeutic, turns out sometimes violence is the answer. Dusting herself off Buffy hurries back to where she saw Giles fall. 

“Giles? Giles?” she drops to her knees as he pulls himself into a more dignified position.

“Buffy,” he breathes ignoring the now quite agonising pain in his side instead focusing on the headache. Why is it always the head? Buffy quickly pulls him into a tight hug and lets the tears that were threatening to fall cascade down her face unashamedly. Stunned, Giles wraps his arms around her and returns the hug. He lets her stay in his arms until her tears stop, however long that is. “Are you alright?” 

She laughs nervously at him and pulls back but remains close. “I’m not the one that got knocked out… again. Are we gonna have to make our semi-regular, post-patrol trip to the Emergency Room?” 

“Uh, no I- I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” he replies as he tries to get to his feet. He probably should go and get checked over but all he wants right now is a cup of tea. Buffy helps steady him and the pair retreat from the graveyard slowly. “And I wasn’t actually rendered unconscious for once.”

Biting her tongue, Buffy falls in step with him as they head towards his car in silence as they have done on countless occasions. They need to have this out, and now is as good a time as any. “I know you feel beyond crappy about everything that happened, and I know you’ll never do it again, so I’m sorry for being such a bitch about it to you.” Okay, well he wasn’t expecting that. Not that Giles was sure what he was expecting. He knew she wasn’t throat-ripping-out angry anymore, but he didn’t think she’d say that. 

“Buffy, you have nothing to apologise for,” he stammers. “I was completely in the wrong.”

“I’m not denying that, but I was completely horrible to you over the past week because of that and I’m sorry.” God she sucked at this sort of thing. Why couldn’t it be as easy as it was on TV when they know what to say? She has forgiven him, she needs to tell him that, but she wants to know one thing first. “Was he right?” 

“Hm?” Giles looks to her and frowns. 

“Travers. When he fired you, he said it’s because you have a father’s love for me. Was he right?” Giles knew he needed to be careful, he was exhausted, and his emotions threatened to get the best of him. The last thing he wanted was to get overly emotional again. He nodded instead of giving her verbal confirmation, he simply couldn’t open his mouth and force the words out. A small hand reaches out and touches his elbow. “It’s okay Giles, I forgive you, for everything.” 

And there go the waterworks again. The sheer relief when Buffy whispers that is overwhelming and before he can resist, the tears start falling and it’s a lost cause. Buffy wraps her arms around him tightly as her own tears smear her already ruined mascara all over her face. To see the effect those words had on him is making her feel way too many things. Mostly shitty about what she said about him earlier to Angel. That was unforgivable and she didn’t mean it, not really, even when she said it, but her brain chose that moment to go to sleep and she couldn’t stop herself saying the worst things she could at the  
time.

“I’m so sorry Giles,” Buffy sighs gripping him tightly. Is that a whimper? Did he whimper? 

“Buffy, would you mind letting me go now?” he breathes. Oh, he’s probably finding it awkward. Buffy lets him go with a quiet apology and they both sit on a bench nearby. “Whatever are you apologising for?”

“I shouldn’t have said those horrible things about you earlier. I didn’t mean it at all I swear, it just came out before I could stop myself.” 

“As far as I’m concerned there’s nothing you need apologise for.” He reaches to place his hand on her shoulder, to reassure her that he doesn’t hold whatever it was against her. 

“I don’t want you dead. I don’t hate you. God even the thought of you dying…” she whispers with moist eyes. “Do you ever think we can have a normal week?” Giles shakes his head with a smirk.

“It feels like we live in a bloody soap,” he mutters with a grin at Buffy’s confused expression. “Cultural reference.” She nudges him in the side with her elbow earning a grunt of pain in response. 

“Are you hurt? And don’t you even think about lying to me mister because we are so beyond that.”

“Just a bit tender around the rib region,” he mumbles avoiding her eyes. If he’s commenting on being in pain then he’s seriously hurt. Giles may do many things, but he never, ever complains of being in pain. Even after having the stuffing beaten out of him he’ll shrug it off and say he’s fine or will be once he’s had his tea. Did the vampire hurt him? No wait, she kicked him. Shit, she kicked him hard enough to break bones.

“Oh crap, I’m so sorry!” she begs moving to examine him, noting the ragged breaths that aren’t coming as naturally as they should be. How did she not notice? 

“Actually, I was rather impressed at your reflexes,” he notes flashing her a toothy grin. 

“Guess we need to make that detour after all.” Giles opens his mouth to protest but at her glare quickly shuts it and nods his head. As they head once more for his car, Giles draws the line at letting her try and drive because there is no way the insurance would cover the damage she could do behind the wheel. Thankfully, it’s not a long journey to Sunnydale Memorial and they can work out the logistics of getting home later. As Buffy gets into the passenger side she allows the familiar feeling of home to return to her. Not that Giles smelled like her house, he smelled of tea and books and unlike the boys of Sunnydale High, he knew what deodorant was so never smelled of sweat. It reminded her of home, that feeling of having somewhere to go, the sense of belonging. He belonged with her, she felt safer when he was around, he was the only Watcher she ever wanted. Let them send someone new, see how that’ll work out for them.

*****

“I just don’t understand it,” Xander sighs for the billionth time. Willow ignores him and focuses on her book. “How can he do that?” 

“It doesn’t matter how, it only matters that he did,” she replies without looking up from her page. The pile of books on the table in the library suggest they have bigger things to worry about right now.

“He’s Mister Reliable. Now who do we go to when there’s an apocalypse? Jokes aside, is there like a helpline for that kinda stuff?”

“There’s gonna be a Giles two-point-oh to replace mark one,” Oz adds with a shrug. They continue this debate for a while until they see Buffy entering the library. 

“Hey Buffster. How goes the Slaying last night?” 

“Pretty quiet actually. But I still got to pummel a vamp into dust which was surprisingly relaxing,” she chirps with a non-committal shrug. Willow looks up from her book mildly horrified but it’s not to be expected that Buffy would find violence relaxing. Deciding to change the subject the group makes plans for Bronzing to have fun for a change when Giles shuffles into the library, blue mug of tea in his hand.

“Look gang it’s traitor of the year,” Xander cheers sending a venomous look at the librarian who takes a seat at the far end of the table picking up a heavy looking book. Buffy smiles at Giles’ trademark ‘I want the Hellmouth to open so a demon can jump out and slit my throat’ expression. He catches her eyes and rolls his own in response with a tiny smile on his lips. Xander steps closer to the older man readying his rehearsed verbal attack. He practiced in front of the bathroom mirror for hours last night so he was certain that Giles would get a piece of his mind. 

“Xander stop,” Willow snaps before her friend can start, having intercepted the exchange between Watcher and Slayer. She wasn’t mad per se, just upset about what happened, but she deeply regretted what she said yesterday and couldn’t think of how to apologise without crying. With a sheepish grin she moves closer to Giles. “I’m so sorry Giles.”

“What you’re taking his side? I can’t believe you!” 

“We had our sappy moment and we’re good,” Buffy announces perching sitting on the chair next to Giles. She decides to take the lead knowing Giles will inevitably stutter his way through a totally vague explanation. “What happened is of the past, let’s just move on and face the next apocalypse.” 

“Are you kidding? After what he did you’re just letting it slide like that?” Xander shouts. Oz shrugs and joins the girls on Giles’ side of the table. 

“Works for me,” he shrugs.

“Anyway, Giles says we’ve got another apocalypse on the schedule for this week so let’s switch to research mode, right?” Buffy looks up to Giles who flashes her a grateful smile before nodding. 

“Indeed, all the signs indicate that we do,” he states gesturing to the pile of books on the table in front of them. “I suggest making a start with the Black Chronicles, while Willow fires up that dread machine. I’ll cross reference some demonology texts with the Watchers’ Diaries and we’ll go from there.” And just like that the gang gets back to it leaving Xander confused in the middle of the room. 

“We’re sticking with mark one,” Oz mumbles as he walks past Xander to the demonology section of the Sunnydale High Library. Hours pass as the gang work in the usual synchrony, doughnuts and all. The whole time Buffy remains next to Giles despite the fact she can no longer see words when she looks at the pages in front of her. She yawns and rests her head against his shoulder. He doesn’t tense, instead moving closer to support her better. There is still trust that needs to be rebuilt and she knows that the Hellmouth will continue make their lives hell but for now, she can rest easy with the knowledge that even when it gets to be overwhelming, she will have his shoulder to lean on.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. All feedback welcome :)


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